The Daily Teddy 12/14-15

My mom just left last night, concluding almost a month of nearly continuous family time (first the Stoever family, then my folks). Don't worry, they'll all be coming back very soon. But in the meantime, it's just the 5 of us-- you, your mom, Roosevelt, Miso, and myself, in no particular order (actually, who am I kidding, that is exactly the order of priority in your life...). Looking forward to our first Christmas with you, and the gifts are already starting to roll in! Your "awesome Uncle Andrew and Aunt Melissa" just gave you a whole passel of great 49ers gear, which we'll break out before tonight's 49ers-Chargers game (your most recent visit to the doctor revealed that you were in the 85th percentile for height, and 65th for weight: you'll have to work on the weight a little bit, but you're still well on your way to being a highly paid offensive lineman or nose tackle, so pay attention!).

It also means lots of your mom's Christmas cookies! She busted out the first batch yesterday, chocolate chocolate chip, which probably would go real well with the milk you love so much, if you had teeth.




You're drinking lots of milk these days, after which you usually pass out. You're basically a milk wino. Always looking for handouts. The bums lost. My advice to you, Teddy, is to do what your parents did, and get a job!

When you're not eating, you're occasionally sleeping. But most of the time, you're eating and then faux sleeping. By which I mean that as soon as we try to actually put you to sleep, you emulate the Republican Party and exercise the "nuclear option", throwing a massive screaming fit until you are feeding again. After 5 seconds of which you fall into "faux sleep" again. I think this is an excellent critique of the current political dynamic, with your Mom playing President Obama and you playing the Congressional Republicans, although I am deathly fearful that this is prologue to your eventual career as a extraordinarily successful Tea Party politician. The Dark Side is strong in you, young padawan. I just hope we can steer you to the Light.




When you're not eating, sleeping or faux sleeping, you've got lots of gas. Which means you're either pooping, or trying to poop. And then occasionally, you're awake and just happy. Which is pretty awesome. The below is a detailed analysis of how you spend your day.



Regardless of whether you're eating, sleeping, faux sleeping, or pooping, you are just a joy, and we love you so much, little one. Even if you end up as Bristol Palin's Vice President someday.